Friend
by Chocobore
Summary: SPOILER ALERT - Kirk's final moments from Spock's POV. It's been done before and will be again but I needed to write this down. My first fanfiction so suggestions and criticism would be appreciated a lot. Apologies if I've got what happened in the wrong order as I have a poor memory. Can be read as pre-slash or extreme friendship.
1. Friend

"Because you are my friend,"

Spock choked on the words. _A lie by omission._ The voice in his head sounded suspiciously like his older self. He can't bring this up now, not in Kirk's final moments. He must leave it so Kirk's soul can rest for eternity whilst Spock's feelings can wage war quietly in the back of his mind.

The emotion he's previously spent keeping contained within himself suddenly roars to the surface like an angry leviathan. His muscles contort and twist to reveal the desperation weeping off of his face.

"_A friendship that will define you both."_

_A friendship that can never be._

Spock had a raging torrent of emotions flying about his head, crashing into each other and intensifying them as the chain reaction caused a nuclear explosion of anger, grief, horror and – most of all – heartbreak.

_Why can't I stop it? Stop him from going, stop from feeling, stop from _hoping _that he may yet survive. It is impossible he will._

He reached out his hand for the glass._ Cold, unfeeling. Like me. _Spock blames himself. He makes the Vulcan salute with his hand, hoping that it will bring Kirk comfort in his passing. Kirk copied the salute. _It would be cruel to say it now._

Spock couldn't blink. He was clinging on to the last image of James Kirk he will ever get to see. Although he's not sure this is how he wants to remember him, Spock stares at Kirk.

_Captain..._

As Kirk's eyes stopped glowing and his face relaxed it seemed just like he was looking behind Spock at a particularly enrapturing thing. It was almost like he wasn't dead yet. Spock let out the breath he was holding. The breath that contained all those unspoken words of comfort, those calming tones to help Kirk in his passing, those confessions he never confessed.

Kirk was gone. _No, his name was Jim._

"_At great cost."_

_It wasn't supposed to be Jim. It was _never _supposed to be Jim. Not in many ways. Yet it was Jim and it always has been._

Spock's fury was like a jungle cat hunting: it was silent for a moment, but then all at once it tore into him screaming the name of the one who was in all ways responsible for this.

_Khan._


	2. Enemy

Spock hazily remembers Nyota joining him and her saying something. The details he can't recall but he think she said "Go get him." and go Spock did.

He next remembers beaming down to earth in a flurry of yellow tendrils, the landscape in front of him rendering like it would in a video game as his very being was deliberately put back together piece by piece. The only thing missing was Jim.

Spock at once took flight towards the man, barrelling through pedestrians not caring if he startles them. He had one mission and he was not going to stop until Khan ceased to draw breath.

Wind rushing past his ears was giving Spock an indication or just how fast he was sprinting after the terrorist. Spock could almost say his bloodstream was more adrenaline than blood right now, if he were human. There were a few times when Spock wavered, perhaps slipping on the broken glass that Khan just bolted though, but he balanced himself and continued towards the man evading justice.

_Jim needs this justice. No, he needs _revenge.

Khan seemed to fly up onto the faded orange platform, or was it a platform? Spock isn't paying enough attention to his surroundings to care. Spock follows, grossly misjudging the height and left to scramble on the edge, clawing his way back up. Tall and dark, Khan lifts the half-Vulcan with impossible ease and throws him across the platform. Khan runs, jumps and lands onto another platform as gracefully as a swan would look taking flight.

For Spock, the proverbial "red mist" had descended a long time ago and threw himself after Khan.

_No holding back._

They struggled, wresting and battling, each fighting for dominance over the other. Somewhere in the confusion Spock is melding with Khan whilst the criminal tries to crush Spock's head.

Spock not only sends over the sheer pain and blinding fury of his physical torture, but the emotional loss of his Captain also. The unfathomable misery, the affliction of the heart, the never-ending _hurt _of the loss of his most precious companion.

_You took him from me._

"_It was not I who told him to go into the radioactive chamber."_

Spock drew back, alarmed at the surprise reply. However, his confusion dissolved into undiluted animosity of the _monster _stood before him.

Khan was looming, blocking his vision from everything but the man above him. Khan was punching him. Spock's head was numbing; he was dangerously close to being rendered unconcious.

_Nyota..._

Spock heard the familiar whirr of the transporter beam, the trill of a phaser and saw a flash of red peeking over Khan's shoulder. In a moment, Khan was gone and Nyota was there, mercilessly loosing the fire-power of the Starfleet regulation phaser unto Khan. Spock turned as fast as he could whilst and angry flood of pain took over the rest of his senses. He grabbed something cold and heavy and launched it at Khan's head. He fell. Spock's triumph claimed his senses as he smirked and started to knead Khan like bread dough albeit with the hope of leaving broken bones and bruises.

_If you had not come Jim would still be here. You will pay for taking him away from me._

Spock loses track of time: for all he knew it had been years since he began beating Khan and years until he stops. Blood, green and red, mixed on his knuckles making a putrid vomit colour.

_I hope you hurt for eternity. I hope you bleed._

"It's the only way to save Kirk!"

Spock stops. His head came up at a jarring speed to rest facing Nyota. His entire face turned from rage to panic.

_There is not much time, but there is still hope._

* * *

A/N: Well that chapter didn't turn out as well as I hoped but thank you for reading and I hope you've enjoyed it. Should I post a 3rd chapter? I'm not sure, suggestions would be great but other than that, have a great day! :D


	3. Light

A/N: This chapter is from Kirk's POV sorta. Next chapter will be back to Spock again.

* * *

Jim stuttered and coughed to life like he was breathing for the first time. He remembers Spock and the way his tears culminated in his eyes, giving them an unearthly sheen. His heart cracks and breaks when, in his mind's eye, he pictures Spock's tears finally crawling down his face to drip off into oblivion.

Jim groans and slowly pushes himself up on shaky limbs to sit upright in his bed. The air smells distinctly of disinfectant and... bourbon?

"Dammit, Jim, I told you not to do anything stupid!" and all at once Bones is checking him over with some scanner and shoving him, rather roughly, back down onto the firm mattress.  
"Hey Bones, that hurts." he complains, his voice coming out an octave lower than usual and decidedly gruffer from the lack of hydration.  
"You gave us all a heart attack, you know that? We thought you were dead. For good, I mean."  
Bones ends up ambling off back into his office, Jim assumes, and Jim simply lays there listening to the faint blips and boops of the scanners attached to him.

_Spock you pointy-eared bastard. _

Jim feels ghastly for putting Spock through all of that torment and, ever more so, for leaving his friends behind.

_I left my _family _behind._

Jim remembers nothing of being dead just darkness beyond comprehension and understanding.

_It's good to be back. _He thinks as he calmly fell back into that darkness, except this time he was only sleeping.

* * *

A/N2: So yeah I _did _write a 3rd chapter and it is really short but I wasn't intending for it to be very long. The next one shouldn't be spectacularly long either. Sorry! Oh and I changed what happened a teensy weensy bit just for the purposes of this story.

Thank you for reading!


	4. Forever

Spock took a calming breath before pushing open the typically plain hospital door. The metal panel suddenly absorbed the heat from his hand making him shiver before releasing it as he stepped inside. It smelt of disinfectant and Jim.

As soon as he felt Spock enter the room Jim slowly opened his eyes and smiled, sincerely and completely, causing crow's feet at the corner of each of his eyes.  
"Spock."  
"Captain." Spock's body relaxed a little seeing Jim so...alive.  
"Spock, please. It's Jim." he smiled again, making Spock remember just how much he missed that smile. Spock walked - more like glided - closer towards the bed barely making a noise. He sat down in a plain hospital chair and pulled it up closer to Jim's bed.  
"I'm sorry, Jim. I should have foreseen the-"  
"No, Spock. It was no-one's fault. You didn't force me into that chamber."  
_No, but I should have stopped it. I should have been able to save you, Jim._

Spock thought for a while just sat there next to Jim. It was a comfortable silence. Steady and strong, the beeps and whirs of the machines attached to Jim carried on as if they were speaking a language of their own. It was almost as if their very presence was the thing keeping Jim healthy and well.  
_Inanimate objects can not possibly communicate with one another. _Spock though as he mused his way through the lull in conversation. They continued like this until Jim began to stir again, shifting so he was once again upright and comfortable.  
"So, how's the crew?"  
"All are well and functioning, Captain."  
"How many times have I told you?"  
"Told me what, Captain?" Spock cocked his head and Jim paused a second, a wave of amusement crashed over his face.  
"I've missed you, Spock. It's not much fun being dead."  
"I've missed you also, Jim." and in that moment they were forever. And in that moment Jim could swear he saw Spock smile.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this took so long; I've been doing final GCSEs and such. Thank you very much for your patience, though :)


End file.
